Ethics + Briefs.

For the life of me, I do not see myself ceasing with the giggles whenever my professional responsibility professor acknowledges violating one of the ethics rules.

The Boss had me read close to 140 pages yesterday in briefs, and wondered what was taking me so long to get it done. Apparently, reading every line on every page is not the norm. Duly noted.

The Hammer Falleth + Ego Boost of the Week.

So it finally came, a phone call from my mom or dad regarding a situation most would not discuss in polite company. It was my dad who fell upon the unseemly scene: "I found a couple of used condoms in the back of your truck."

Yup.

The last time I was home and visiting friends and family and had access to my vehicle, I fell into an opportunity to use condoms and the only viable venue happened to be under the canopy in the back of my pickup truck. Not totally proud to be reduced to trying to wet-hump a bird on the side of a public street, not totally embarrassed about it either though. However, what is embarrassing is forgetting to clean up the evidence before heading out-of-state back to school, thus leaving your truck in the sole possession of your parents, who happen to be caring enough to occasionally wash and do maintenance on the truck.

Some part of me knew it was only a matter of time before they fell upon the rubs. It has been a year though, so I thought maybe I could slide by until the next time I visited, whereupon I could finally clean up the shit and avoid the potentially awkward phone call. Nope. Not so much. I'm glad it was my Dad though, he can appreciate the humor in the situation. My mother probably would have wanted to know the name and phone number of the girl in case I some day disappear and she can have the number of someone I might be associating with for an evening. She's a worrier like that.

In a somewhat related story, a friend of mine let me crash at her place last Friday, and nothing really happened besides drunkenly passing out whilst cuddling and watching The Sweetest Thing. It was pleasant. The next day was an all-day street-festival bender which involved meeting up with this bird's friend. So we're going along, beer-in-cup in hand, when my friend releases a line that simultaneously makes me look a bit scummy and makes my head more difficult to get through doors: "So, should I be offended that you've hooked up with half of law school and you didn't make a move on me last night?" Okay, so I tried playing it down verbally, you know, that whole "modesty" deal, but it was tough as shit to wipe the smile off my face.

Crazy in the Park.

Saw another crazy in the park, similar to the last one I saw, but slightly different.

This guy had long frazzled hair choked into a pony tail. He was wearing khakis and a Hawaiian shirt, and WIELDING A SWORD. He seemed to be practicing some sort of martial art. I guess anything in which a sword is being used is martial by default. The "art" aspect of it was suspect, but who am I to belittle a man brave or crazy enough to practice his sword skills in a public square while wearing such a hideous outfit.

Again, this was in broad daylight (though I suppose it'd be more unsettling to see this same dude at night).

And again, I'm begrudgingly happy to live in a city that tolerates such craziness.

Headphones & the City.

I like having headphones at most points of the day. I do it frequently. I also frequently break my headphones, so I've avoided making a habit of buying nice headphones because of my tendency to be so reckless with them.

I usually like to jam out and drown out all the garbage-noise going on around me. I don't find most conversations to be interesting, mainly because I'm not a part of them, they're not about me, and they usually don't involve a subject of which I can relate to. Granted, this may be because I feel like I can't relate to many conversations that don't directly involve sex & failing relationships, the law, drinking, or a combination of those things. But still, most people have boring conversations in public.

But, a big but, there is definitely something to be said for listening to the sounds of your city. So sometimes I ride the bus or go to lunch without the headphones, just to get a sense of where I am and what's going on. While I'll never fail to appreciate how walking around with headphones can have the effect of transforming your experiences into a movie scene, I'll try to balance that out with hearing Cindy and Nancy drone on about how the crepes were too expensive, or Chuck's latest move on the investment-portfolio front.

In more entertaining and sad news, since I was paying so much attention to the lack of sex over the past year, I failed to mention/notice that I hadn't really dated someone in over a year. Jesus.

Here's hoping a summer fling springs up sooner rather than later.

First Solo Contact with a Client.

Memo

To: The Boss
From: The Law Clerk
Subject: Summary of phone call with Client X.
Date: June 6, 2008.

I called Client X at 3:05pm on June 6, 2008. I asked her whether she had received the Substitution of Attorney form that we faxed to her earlier in the week. She indicated that she had received it and is not happy about the arrangement.

She expressed a misunderstanding of her relationship with you. She said that she requested your services and contracted with you to take her case in case Mr. HerActualLawyer "could not be there." She seems to misunderstand the arrangement that you had with Mr. HerActualLawyer. She took issue with your characterization of the relationship as "consultant" and said that her understanding is that you were/are her attorney along with Mr. HerActualLawyer.

Her misapprehension of your role in her case was further highlighted when she said she feels her case has been "disregarded" by you, and mentioned that no "papers with the court" had been filed under your name. She is in the process of trying to secure another attorney. It was not clear whether her attempts to secure alternative counsel was in response to Mr. HerActualLawyer's substitution-out or your notice to substitute out. At several points she said "I want my money back," and said she hired you "on contingency." It was unclear whether she wanted the full retainer back, or just what is left of the refund as indicated in the substitution form. I assured her if she returns the substitution form by Monday, you will promptly send her the refund. She responded by saying she needs time to find another attorney for the case management conference on Tuesday. It appeared as if she was not informed of the case management conference potentially being delayed, and without confirmation of the order, I did not feel I should apprise her of the possibility.

She indicated that she would be willing to return the substitution form upon receipt of her money. I told her that you would return the refund upon receipt of the substitution form. She said she "needs time" and should have another attorney secured by "Monday or Tuesday."

I informed her that you would have to file a motion to withdraw if she did not return the substitution form by Monday. She said she wants all the paperwork that we have from her case, and threatened to go to the State Bar if the motion to withdraw was filed before she returned the substitution form and found another attorney.

She generally and at several points expressed dissatisfaction with the current situation, and moreover seemed distraught about her son's case. The conversation ended before I could ask if she definitively had any intention of returning the substitution form by Monday.

I did not want to take liberties in clarifying Client X's above mentioned misunderstandings and at this point I am unsure of whether a direct phone call from you would do much to assuage her frustration.

Bullshit Law of the Day.

Cal. Bus. & Prof. Code § 6106.1. Advocating to overthrow government cause for disbarment or suspension.

Advocating the overthrow of the Government of the United States or of this State by force, violence, or other unconstitutional means, constitutes a cause for disbarment or suspension.

What the hell? I think that should be superseded by a Thomas Jefferson gem:

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time, with the blood of patriots and tyrants.It is its natural manure.

Good 'ole T.J.Always there to help out in a ethical pinch. I fervently hope that one day I bear witness to a case in which an attorney sees advocating the overthrow of the government as a viable and necessary argument for his client.

Professional Responsibility.

So I'm sitting in my first night of professional responsibility, aka the class I have to take to make sure I can afford rent this summer.

My professor is opening up with explaining the procedure for complaints to the state bar, and she says that the current state bar prosecutor is very tough, and that she's only been able to work deals for some of her clients by "shucking and jiving."

Shucking and Jiving: -noun Slang.

misleading or deceptive talk or behavior, as to give a false impression.

Acknowledging the use of shucking and jiving while professing the importance of professional responsibility? Pure lovely fucking irony.