Quoting the Profs.

So since the year is at a close as far as classes are concerned, I thought it relevant to post some of the choice quotes from my classes this year. Most of them actually came from one old curmudgeon of a remedies professor, but he's a goldmine, so it's to be expected. Enjoy.

“Part of capitalism is the big guy screwing the little guy.”

“God help us, there’s no one in a litigation who isn’t suffering emotional damage.” (referring to plaintiffs who claim emotional damage as a result of having to pursue litigation).

“And tort law, which has a bit of a religious flavor to it.”

“Is there a difference between a prudent man and a prudent woman?”

“And if you need a potty break, well you just go ahead and take it.”

“Maybe Colorado on a bad day. They do some strange things in Colorado. Colorado and Hawaii: both places where they smoke too much dope. It’s true!”

“Being broke is the ultimate defense.”

“He may get an award, but he’s going to take a sizable haircut on it.”

“What frosts my cookies is…”

“I’m not subject to your policy you friggin’ idiot.”

“...which is why you should always be an oil company.”

“Most lawyers have the dream that their retirement case will walk into their office, rather be wheeled into their office.”

“The greedy little bastard.”

“And the lawyer’s firm, Dewey, Fleeceum, and Howe.”

“There are no underpaid medical insurance executives…there are no such people.”

“Even if your profession is theology, you don’t get everyone up to heaven.”

“What’s with this chair? I can’t get my large fanny into it.”

“Did you do discovery as provided by the statute? No? Well you’re fucked.”

“Do unto others before they do you.”

“Be a man, whatever you sex you are, be a man, take the bar here.”

“Chime in children!” (calling out a group of silent students)

“I wasn’t serious about nailing it to their foreheads, that’s not the proper way to serve.”

“The security staff, sometimes spelled goon squad.”

“What if I bought a hat that read: ‘Convict the Bastard!’ Embroidered, nice embroidery.”

“ ‘I just stabbed the Dean’ is not a dying declaration, ‘cause I don’t believe my death is imminent.”

“Incest is not the same as rape.”

“I wasn’t really arrested, but I was fingered.”

“Lock up the mafia and you lose some good restaurants.”