Sexin'!

"I got this icebox where my heart used to be." ~ Omari I. Grandberry

So it has been roughly 10.5 months since the last time I had sex. A 'dry-spell' would be polite.

I don't want to sound too pathetic. It's not that I haven't been without opportunity. But I do believe I've swung back toward my ole pre-'05 ways and am now affected with the idea that sex needs to be more than just fucking. If I wanted to be fucking, I could be fucking. I have officially had a relapse into concerns about "trust" and "emotional investment." Yea, I know, I feel weak just saying it.

Lately, I get drunk and maybe I end up necking with a bird. Maybe she plays with my junk, maybe she doesn't. But all the times it has gotten to the point where I get asked whether I "have a condom" or not, even if I do, I find a way of deflecting the idea and passing out. Passing out is easy when you only ever fool around with birds while well over the legal limit.

I'm seriously thinking about pushing it the extra 1.5 months to make it one year. It wouldn't be too hard as it would only involve, barring unforeseen circumstances, not having sex with the birds I'm pretty sure I could have had sex with a long time ago if I had gone along with the standard script. I think I could pull that off. Of course, if some lovely lady came into my life, adjustments would have to be considered and compromises would likely have to be made. In other words, if the right bird came along, I'd be fucking like a rabbit.

The irony of the dry-spell is that I still hear rumors about the girls I've supposedly had sex with. I partially feel like a douche even having to address such shit, but I figure it's better than ignoring it and running the risk of anyone thinking I'm telling anyone about the sex I'm not having with anyone. Yea. And as the rumors continue to spread, I look less and less credible. "Hi. My name is ____ and I'm a make out slut." Since when does a kiss mean fucking? Did I miss that memo?